When we hear the word trauma, our minds often leap to the most extreme examples of human suffering: soldiers on the battlefield, survivors of violent attacks, or victims of natural disasters. And while those experiences are undeniably traumatic, this narrow definition creates a dangerous illusion—that trauma is something that happens to other people. It allows us to believe we are untouched, unaffected.
In my years of work, from international peacebuilding to intimate counseling sessions, the most profound truth I have learned is that trauma is a near-universal part of the human experience. It is not the event itself that defines trauma, but our body’s and mind’s response to that event. It is an invisible imprint left on our nervous system, a wound that can shape our behavior, our relationships, and our health for decades, often without our conscious awareness. To understand trauma is to understand a fundamental aspect of what it means to be human.
How Trauma Works: Your Brain’s Alarm System
Imagine your brain has a highly effective, built-in alarm system. Its only job is to keep you safe. The smoke detector is a part of your brain called the amygdala. When it senses danger—a physical threat, a profound emotional shock, a deep betrayal—it sounds the alarm. Instantly, your body is flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart pounds, your muscles tense, and your breath becomes shallow. This is the classic fight, flight, or freeze response. It’s a brilliant survival mechanism designed to get you through an overwhelming moment.
In a non-traumatic event, once the danger passes, the thinking part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex, or the “watchtower”) comes online and signals to the alarm system, “All clear, you can stand down.” Your body returns to a state of calm.
Trauma occurs when the event is so overwhelming that the alarm system gets stuck in the “on” position. The watchtower is knocked offline, and the smoke detector just keeps blaring, long after the fire is out. The body doesn’t get the “all clear” signal.
“Trauma is not the story of something that happened back then. It’s the current imprint of that pain, horror, and fear living inside people.” — Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
This is the key. The trauma isn’t the memory; it’s the physical and emotional residue that remains. Your body continues to live as if the threat is ever-present. This is why a person with trauma might overreact to a minor stressor—a loud noise, a critical comment. Their alarm system is simply too sensitive, perceiving danger where there is none.
The Body Keeps the Score
Because this response is physiological, the body becomes the storehouse for the unresolved trauma. It holds onto the tension, the fear, and the unspent survival energy. This can manifest in a myriad of physical ways:
- Chronic pain, migraines, or fibromyalgia
- Digestive issues like Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
- Exhaustion and chronic fatigue
- A compromised immune system
The mind, meanwhile, builds its own set of defenses. It may replay the event through intrusive thoughts or nightmares, or it may try to avoid anything that could possibly remind it of the experience (places, people, feelings). These are not signs of weakness; they are the logical, albeit painful, strategies of a brain trying desperately to protect you from reliving the unbearable.
“Big T” and “Little t” Trauma: A Universal Experience
It is crucial that we broaden our understanding of what constitutes a traumatic event. Clinicians sometimes refer to “Big T” traumas—the life-threatening events we typically associate with PTSD. But there are also “little t” traumas, events that are deeply distressing and overwhelm our capacity to cope, but are often dismissed or ignored.
“Little t” trauma can include:
- Ongoing emotional neglect in childhood
- The death of a pet
- Bullying or social rejection
- A difficult divorce or the loss of a job
- Chronic stress in a toxic work environment
These experiences may not have been life-threatening, but they were threatening to our sense of safety, belonging, and self-worth. When these events happen repeatedly, their cumulative effect can be just as impactful as a single “Big T” event. Nearly every person has experienced some form of “little t” trauma. The imprint is there, whether we have discovered it or not, often showing up as anxiety, depression, addiction, or a persistent feeling that something is “wrong” with us.
Why Professional Guidance is Non-Negotiable
If our brain’s alarm system is stuck, why can’t we just “think” our way out of it? Why can’t we just use logic to turn it off? Because the part of the brain that is stuck—the primal, survival-oriented part—does not respond to logic. Trying to reason with a blaring smoke detector is useless.
Healing from trauma is not about willpower. It is about gently and safely rewiring the nervous system. This is a delicate process that, if attempted alone, can lead to re-traumatization, making things worse. A trained, trauma-informed professional provides two essential things:
- A Safe Container: A therapist creates a relationship built on trust and attunement, which is the foundational requirement for feeling safe. This relational safety is what allows the stuck alarm system to finally begin to quiet down.
- The Right Tools: A professional guide knows how to work with both the body and the mind. They use somatic(body-based) approaches, arts-based therapies, and other modalities that go beyond just talking. These tools help release the trapped survival energy from the body and help the “watchtower” of the brain come back online.
“Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence.” — Peter A. Levine, PhD
This is the ultimate message of hope. Understanding the imprint of trauma is not about dwelling on the past. It is about recognizing the map of our internal world so we can navigate it with compassion. It is the first step toward reclaiming our bodies, our minds, and our stories. Healing is not about erasing the scar, but about learning to live peacefully with it, transformed by the journey.